


Bloom

by CosmicRabbit



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Chronic Illness, Depression, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hope vs. Despair, Slow Burn, Strong Language, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:49:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicRabbit/pseuds/CosmicRabbit
Summary: After surviving multiple traumatic events in her 22 years of life, including the diagnosis of a debilitating chronic illness, Rosalyn moves to Pelican Town to heal. While her sister and caregiver, Margot, runs the farm and fosters friendships, Rosalyn seeks isolation as bitterness, depression, and resentment continue to cling...On a quiet beach, she meets a dark-haired man with a piercing gaze.
Relationships: Sebastian (Stardew Valley)/Original Female Character(s), Sebastian/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	1. Move

"But now that my past self lies in her grave,  
The new me comes out of the womb.  
Now that what I was is dead,  
I can bloom."  
-Madeline Marie Morley

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I felt a multitude of things, sitting in the front seat of our Jeep, as I stared at the quaint house in which I've lived my whole life thus far: fear, guilt, sadness…and an overwhelming sense of relief.

I pulled down the sun visor and looked at myself in its mirror: Flat, dirty blonde hair that touched my shoulder blades. Pale skin wrapped tight around my cheekbones. Light blue eyes with dark circles underneath. The ugly pink scar peaking out from my hairline. Yup, still me.

"Have everything then? Especially all of your medications? Are you sure today's a good day for the drive?" Margot, my older sister, asked as she loaded the final piece of luggage in the trunk.

"For the 100th time, yes. We have everything." I patted the med bag on my lap. "And you know how it is. I feel well enough...I guess."

"Did you get plenty of sleep last night?" Margot asked, hand planted on a cocked hip.

"Sure. Can we leave now?"

Margot closed the trunk easily with the push of one lean, bronze arm and got into the driver's seat next to me. "I just want to check, one more time, to make sure we have everything. Can you imagine what would happen if we left a med behind? Go through the bag and read me the list again, please."

I rolled my eyes, but opened the med bag and pulled out the check list. "Okay...we have topiramate, levetiracetam, felbamate, midazolam, and lorazepam. We've also got bandaids, tegaderm patches, gauze, daily vitamins, ibuprofen, alcohol wipes, hand sanitizer, suction tank, gloves..."

"What about the nasal cannula?" Margot asked worriedly.

"Can you turn your nurse mode off for a minute? You're giving me a headache. We have the damn cannula, I was getting to that. Oxygen tank is in the trunk." I rubbed my temples.

"Sorry...I guess I'm a little nervous about all this. BUT, we are totally prepared, and we're going to be absolutely fine! This is the start of our new beginning! We’ll be living together, just us gals! I just want you to be comfortable and for everything to be perfect. Besides...I'm no longer a nurse! As of today, I am officially a farmer!"

I had to laugh at that. "Farmer or not, you'll always be a nurse."

Margot smirked and turned on the ignition of her big, orange Jeep. It was definitely not a color I would choose, but it fit Margot just fine: sunny, bright and too obnoxious to ignore.

The ride was long. Margot turned up her pop music, occasionally bobbing her head and drumming her fingers against the steering wheel to the beat along with an occasional wink towards me. I always felt like she was trying to inject her happy, radiant vibes into me but, as usual, I'm just too stubborn to budge. It must be tiring for her. God knows why she's even moving in with me in the first place. 

I placed my feet on the dashboard, put on the thickest pair of black sunglasses I had and gazed out the window. The cool glass felt nice against my forehead. The open road, forever winding and curving, made it easy for the mind to wander. I loved these moments of just observing without participating. 

I realized I hadn't taken a drive like this in a long time. Grandpa's farm felt like a distant childhood dream where we spent lazy summers swimming in the lake, building tipis out of twigs in the backwoods and running along the deck with rainbow-colored pinwheels clutched tightly in our tiny hands. The cottage always seemed rustic, yet sturdy and comforting. It felt like an adventure, but also like returning home. 

The entrance of Pelican Town was nothing to brag about, yet it had my nostalgia-senses tingling. A large wooden sign, which must have been at least 50 years old, read "WELCOME" with a cartoon Pelican smiling and waving me in. It was one of those old-fashioned styles that made me think “family-friendly”. The wood had splintered, and the paint had paled after weathering the elements for so long. 

It was clear we were not in the city anymore. There was a significant increase in Houses of Worship. There were a few hand-painted cardboard signs that read things like, “Free Manure” and “Free Firewood”. The road phased to loose gravel and our car began to lightly bob from side to side. 

My palms were getting sweaty as the trees started to clear. When the cottage finally came into view, I couldn't keep my eyes from widening as I took in all my surroundings.

I forgot how vast and blue the sky looked in the countryside. I forgot how tall trees could be as they stretched so high into the sky. I forgot how rich and vibrant spring flowers bloomed and how delightful they looked gently bending to a warm breeze. Stardew Valley was not only real, it was magic. No amount of fiber optics, concrete or steel could possibly measure up to this level of magnificence. 

This is why I came here. 

"Thank Yoba, we're finally here!" The driver's side door swung open with Margot following close behind and not waiting a single second to spread out her limbs as far as they could go. "Ahhh, it always feels so good to stretch after a long drive!" Margot smiled wide. 

This time, I wanted to smile too.

I slowly opened my door and carefully climbed out of the Jeep. As I took in the yard with a slightly renewed perspective, I could see all the work that needed to be done: trash, weeds and overgrown plants. No type of crop could even begin to grow before everything was cleared. 

"Yoooohoooo!! New Farmer!" A woman with a carpentry belt waved as she walked down our road and struggled to carry an assortment of supplies that were cradled in her arm.

Ugh. We literally just parked and already I need to meet someone. Couldn't I have at least a day before having to deal with this shit?

I checked my pockets for a key in an attempt to escape this sudden social encounter, but I couldn't find one. I looked to Margot for help, but she never looked my way. Instead, she enthusiastically waved as if she'd known her for years. Extroverts.

"Hey ya! Are you the carpenter? Mayor Lewis mentioned over the phone that you might be stopping by!"

"I am and-!" The woman’s speech was cut short as the items in her arm became too much. She wiggled and contorted her body in an attempt to prevent the fall, but it was too late. All the supplies as well as the woman herself went tumbling to the ground.

Margot immediately ran over and helped her up. 

"Good Yoba! This stuff weighs a ton! What a way to introduce new neighbors to the neighborhood. I know I said that I just wanted to scan the property today, but there's a LOT of work that needs to be done around here and I thought I might as well get started a little early! I can get a little obsessive with new projects. I'm Robin.” Robin held out her hand, and Margot enthusiastically shook it. 

"I'm Margot and this is my sister, Rosie. Ah yeah, we totally have no idea what we’re doing so we can use all the help we can get!” 

I gave a small wave with a quick, tight-lipped smile before looking down and pulling at the sleeves of my dress. I didn't want to see the expression on her face when she looked at me. I hated meeting new people for so many reasons. There was always the automatic comparison between Margot and me: the pale, thin, sickly woman next to the tanned, confident, bombshell babe. I've seen it and heard it again and again. 

Next to me, I heard from Margot: "Rosie’s a shy one, please don't take offense.”

“Oh please, she reminds me of my Sebby. He's shy too, if you ever meet him, but I'm sure he'll warm up to you if you're nice to him. He's practically a hermit in our basement, however, so I have no idea if you'll ever actually get the chance."

“Is he your only child?”

“I also have a daughter named Maru. I'm assuming you haven't met the rest of the town yet? That sounds exhausting." 

I looked up at her then, surprised. She had auburn hair, kind eyes and a genuine smile. 

Yes, meeting the town would be exhausting and, thus, I had no intention of doing it. I gave another smile, more prolonged than the first, but still said nothing. 

Margot laughed. “No, we haven't yet. We are really looking forward to meeting everyone though and becoming a part of the community here.”

Margot and Robin soon after went over details about what additions she's looking for with the cottage and the land. Margot seemed overly excited to get chickens and cows. Robin agreed to come by every morning to begin building. Robin even did a quick clean sweep of our yard and assisted in a trash clean up. I tried to help gather some trash together to help, but found myself soon after practically wheezing from the exertion and the dust. 

"Rosie! Don't bother with that, we got this! Why don't you go sit in the shade? This will only take a couple of minutes." 

This is always how it is. I can never be of any help to anyone. My body is useless. 

When we entered the cottage, the first thing I noticed was that the air felt stagnant. Margot raised the blinds and ripped open the large windows, allowing for the white, natural light to filter in. I ran my fingers along the walls and felt the grooves of the wooden panels. It felt so strange to be here again, but also very comforting.

When I went to sleep that night in a new bed, I even felt happy. Happiness is always temporary though. It never lasts.

Over the next few days, a bunch of strangers kept coming to the house. I couldn't even keep track of their names, and I didn't go out to meet them. I stayed in my room instead. I didn't come here for them. I don't know them, I don't care about them, and I don't WANT to know them. Why would I waste energy trying to make an effort into something so pointless? 

Everyone expects an illness to be a temporary incident, especially when it's invisible. They'll say things like, "Oh, you're still going on about that?" or "But you're all better now, right?".

On day four, I woke up with a pounding headache that felt like the nerve endings in my brain were on fire. My stomach was in knots, my whole body felt heavy, and, to top it all off, the rain just wouldn't stop. What was that expression again...?

How long was it going to last this time? An hour? Two hours? A whole day? I hated this. Then, that feeling, whenever my pain would spike, as if I had tripped and was falling backwards, even though I wasn't. An aura of panic. I tried to squash it as best I could. "Just calm down, just calm down. You're safe, you're okay. This is only temporary and you can handle it. You've handled much worse." 

Why did they think moving to this place would help? This is just another prison. 

Everything was pointless, even reading felt like a waste. I wanted to lay down, but I couldn't stand sitting still either. 

Margot kept coming to the room asking:  
"Do you need anything?"  
"Can I make you something?"  
"What can I do to help?" 

I know she meant well, she always does, but her questioning just reinforced my feelings of suffocation. This is what they don't understand. I feel sick EVERY DAY, but on bad days, it's just a special kind of hell, and NO ONE can save me. It is what it is.

So, I did the completely illogical thing: I ran outside into the rain without even thinking to grab some shoes and an umbrella. My feet splattered and slid against the wet earth. There was a voice in the back of my mind telling me to be careful, that I was running too much, going too fast. There was a large old tire in the yard that caught my foot and brought my knees down to the ground hard. I got up and kept running. 

I ran until I saw the beach and an old fishing pier. When I reached the edge of the pier, I sunk to my knees and cried, cried, cried as the rain relentlessly carried on. My arms were wrapped around myself, holding me as I sobbed. This was my life. I would never get better. I would never be healthy again. There will always be days like this. I'm doomed to repeat the same hell over and over and over. The waves crashed angrily, a constant wrestle for domination as each crest swelled and tumbled into itself. Every crest, every angry tumble, made the chaos within relatable. It calmed me. 

Then, there was a moment, a suspicious feeling tapping on the side of my neck, which made me suspect that I might not be alone. I slowly turned my head to the right and noticed that I missed an almost identical pier standing parallel to my position. A man with dark hair and dark eyes was looking directly at me. He held a piercing gaze and wore all black, like the grim reaper himself. As I felt his gaze on me, my breath caught in my throat. I should have been mortified, but I kept looking back blankly. He held eye contact with me for only a moment, before turning his head away. 

I felt a rain coat being plopped above my head, and Margot coming to sit at my left side.

"Are you trying to kill me? I was worried sick about you." She sounded tired again. I didn't want to look at the disappointment in her face, so I continued looking out at the ocean and rain.

"You worry too much..." I tried laughing, but I choked up, pitifully, and ended up crying instead. "I just...needed to get out.”

Margot wrapped her arms around me as I leaned my head into her shoulder.

“Bad day, huh?"

I nodded.

Margot's arms wrapped even tighter around me. "Give me a head's up next time, okay?"


	2. Mountain Lake

"I didn't really want to live,  
so anything that was an investment in time  
made me angry...but I also just felt sad."  
-Angelina Jolie

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The bulging folder of medical records slammed onto the desk a little too forcefully in front of a dark-skinned girl with glasses. The action clearly startled her, causing her glasses to be knocked askew. 

Margot smiled sheepishly and gave a wave. “Hi ya! Erm, Rosalyn Greene for 10:30? These are her medical records and insurance card, in case you wanted to make any copies.”

The girl straightened her glasses and smiled. 

“Oh, perfect! Yes, let me get those copies finished for you. Then, I'll get her vitals. Doc’s running a little late this morning.”

The lobby was small and quaint - it looked more like someone’s refurbished basement then a medical space. The green spotted wallpaper was peeling in places, and the hard, blue waiting chairs looked as though they belonged in a public school. There was a small, black square TV in the corner that looked like it was made in the '90's - there was a Queen of Sauce rerun describing how to make the perfect cake for a spring picnic. I expected there to be some contrast from Zuzu’s high tech hospitals, but this was truly night and day. 

The girl behind the front desk, whose name tag read Maru, brought me into a side room to obtain my vitals. Margot looked like she wanted to come with, but I gave her a sign to stay back for now.  
Maru was wearing some kind of subtle perfume with a sandalwood scent. She was efficient as she worked. I could see that her movements were practically automatic, as were mine. Although the office space was different to those I've known in the past, the actual routine of it all was the same: the beep of the thermometer scanner, the firm pressure and release of the blood pressure cuff, the cool touch of the stethoscope, the soft touch to my wrist for my pulse. I didn't bother to ask for the readings, because, honestly, who cares at this point? It won't really make a difference.

I noticed there was no ID badge on her indicating her title.

“Are you a nurse?” I asked softly. 

Maru smiled. “Nothing quite so formal. I'm a bit of everything here - lab tech, phlebotomist, IT gal...whatever the doc wants me to be, really. Equipment often goes haywire...as do the patients.”

I held out my arm and rolled up my sleeve to expose my translucent, chalky skin in preparation for the blood draw. When I looked down, all I saw were hard protrusions of bone and vibrant blue veins. I looked away quickly - I hated looking at myself anymore and, even after all this time, I don't like to watch the needles go in. 

It was strange having someone else draw my blood, since Margot was the person who used to do it all the time for me. Maru had no trouble, however, filling up 4 vials, giving me a glass of water and a licorice candy, and bringing me into a separate room where Margot waited for me. 

There was a knock against the wall next to where the curtain was drawn. After a few beats, Dr. Harvey came in looking out of breath with a coffee cup in one hand and a clipboard in the other. He was tall with a slender build. Although he had a professional air about him, his unkempt hair, wrinkled lab coat and lopsided stethoscope also gave the impression of someone who walked through a tornado.

“Hi, it's been a bit of a crazy morning. I’m Dr. Harvey. I remember meeting Margot, but I don't think I met you. It's a pleasure.”

He sat on a black stool and wheeled himself over to me. He gave me a firm handshake and had a warm smile. Then, he said, “Neuro isn't exactly my specialty. But, I feel strongly about taking a holistic approach to patient care. I promise I'll do my best to take care of you.”

Dr. Harvey continued to look at me when talking, which I appreciated. Oftentimes, doctors would ask me questions when they were in the middle of doing multiple things at once. "We'll be pals, Doc.", I said.

Dr. Harvey dragged his pen down a few areas on his clipboard before he said, “How have you been doing physically? How often and how long have your seizures been occurring?”

“Fine, better than before...they're small, like 1-2 per day and about a minute long usually. No major ones. I’ve even had a few days where there were none. The NeuroPace is great and really helps keep track of everything, when I remember to bring it with me." I tapped the object at my hip. It looked no different from a brown, threaded bag. I continued, "It's mainly the side effects and the migraines that suck right now.”

Dr. Harvey looked thoughtful and scrunched his mouth below his mustache. “I'm going to take a closer look at your medication list and blood work to see if anything can be removed or changed to maybe give you some more relief. I’m glad to see you carry the magnet around with you. What about your mental health?"

I felt myself shift uncomfortably and rub the clammy sweat from my palms onto my lap. I looked over to Margot and noticed her brows were furrowed as she worried her bottom lip. She was purposely looking at the floor. How much did he know? How much was written in my record? 

“F-fine. I'm fine.” I said softly. 

Although he looked like he wanted to push the subject further, he dropped it. "You're lucky you have someone to look after you. Please, if anything comes up or if either of you want to review anything with me, stop by anytime. Let's check in once every couple of weeks to make sure we are on track."

We left soon after. As we walked in the direction of our farm, Margot nudged me and said, “So, what did you think? Did you like your new doctor?”

"I thought he was fine." I said. "What about you? You're the one who usually gets into arguments and claim to know more then they do. I was surprised you were actually quiet."

Margot scratched the side of her head and laughed, "We've chatted before and I was able to give him a bit of an interview. I think he seems like...a pretty nice guy. I think he has the right heart for medicine, which can be so rare these days. So many people just do it for the money."

There was no need to say anything further because, to me, it didn't really matter. Good doctor or not, my fate was still sealed - I was shackled into a condition for the rest of my life which would always feel like a noose around my neck. I was thankful for the doctors and thankful for Margot, truly. Yet, I do wish that all the fuss would stop. It wasn't going to get much better then it already has - I wish they would just leave me alone. 

__________________________

Margot and I developed a bit of a routine. At 6:00am, Margot would go for a run while I woke up, took my medicine, and showered. 

At 7:00am, Margot will water all the crops (I would help...with what she would let me help with). 

At 8:00am, Margot would check on the slowly growing number of farm animals. I would check our little cave for any new mushrooms. 

At 9:00am, Margot would drag me to Pierre’s to see if any seeds or saplings were on sale (It didn't matter to her that Jojo's was cheaper and had better sales, she refused to go there). 

Between 10:00am - 5:30pm, Margot pulled weeds, searched for berries, explored the land, and would catch up with the neighbors. I would read underneath one of our many trees on the farm or take small walks and take pictures with our camera. I never strayed too far.

At 5:30pm, we would have dinner together and begin to wind down. Sometimes, we would even talk about our day. It was nice that Margot listened when I told her about my books. Margot apparently went to some kind of Egg Festival where she brought home a large pink plush bunny that now resides in our livingroom. 

It's been a little over 2 weeks since this routine started for us. Margot was planting some last minute seeds later in the afternoon when she said, “You know, you’re not going to make new friends by stuffing your face in a book for the rest of your life.”

I didn't take my eyes off of the book. “That's kind of the point?”

Margot sighed, wiped the sweat on her forehead, threw down her small garden trowel, walked over and plopped down next to me. “I really don't want to be a nag, but the sun is setting and you’re going to hurt your eyes with this lighting. Also, didn't I tell you to pay closer attention to your posture? If you keep hunching over like that, you're going to regret it when you have arthritis.”

I didn't respond. 

“Rosie! You’re young! You're only 22! You have your whole life ahead of you! There are so many great things to do and so many interesting people just waiting to meet you!”

I snorted. “Overrated.”

Margot got close to my ear—, a strange smile sprawled across on her face that I tried to ignore—, and whispered, “I don't know about you...but I'm feeling 22…”

“Don't you dare. That song is so bad.”

The fading orange sunlight hit my face as Margot swiftly pulled the book from my hands. 

“Hey!”

“That's for insulting her highness, TSwift.”

I let a small smirk escape. “Can I have my book back, please?”

“Hmmmmm.” Margot cocked her hip and tapped on her mouth, pretending to think really hard. “How about...you go out and see the town a bit or maybe, actually, gasp, talk to someone! Then, and only then... I’ll think about giving the book back.” 

I tried to grab the book back from her, but she shoved it under her armpit and ran into the woods. 

I looked around and sighed. It was getting to be the end of the day anyway. There shouldn't be too many people around, especially if I avoid the main road.

I decided to take a walk. The dirt road up north brought me past a charming log house with a blue roof. Although the surrounding terrain was rocky, the road was smooth. Eventually, I reached a large lake that I had never seen before. 

This was actually really nice, peaceful even. The lake was still except for a few pockets of ripples - I guessed they were caused by fish but I was not sure. The orange glow cast by the remaining sunbeams displayed a beautiful contrast against the crystal blue lake. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I tried to focus on the sound of water tumbling against stone and air gliding through the surrounding trees. Yes, I needed this. It felt so good to get some tranquil alone time, just myself and nature, without anyone bothering m-

"Oh. You just moved in, right?"

Oh no. I turned and found the man from the pier standing behind me with a lit cigarette between his fingers. The image of the vulnerable, pathetic woman, who was shivering and crying in the rain swam into my mind. A woman who was supposed to be having that moment of crisis to herself. Yet another moment of solitude that was stolen by a stranger…

I could see his features better in the firelight with each drag of his cigarette before the puff of air was expelled. He held more youth in his face up close. I wondered if his black hair was natural or dyed. 

In response to his question, I gave a thumbs up with the best smile I could manage, then proceeded to look back at the lake with my arms firmly crossed. Hopefully, he was smart enough to pick up on obvious social queues. Instead, he just took another drag and came to stand next to me by the water. Great.

"Cool. You're...Margot, right?"

I sighed. "Nope. That's my sister. I'm just the tagalong."

He smirked. "And...out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?" The cigarette in his mouth was warping his words a little, but I still caught the inflection. His statement pissed me off in and of itself, but the cigarette smoke wafting in my face is what made me snap.

"And out of all the things you could do on a lovely evening, you chose to fuck up my peace with your disgusting cigarette? I have enough problems without you tainting my air and giving me cancer."

Instead of taking another drag, his mouth remained slightly open. He looked right at me with those same deep, dark eyes from before. They were unnerving. 

I looked down. I guess I went too far. Although it's probably better for him to think I'm a bitch, I couldn't help but mumble, "Sorry. I don't know you. I came here to be alone, so..."

His face contorted briefly before he started choking on suppressed laughter.

This bastard was...laughing at me?

Then, he said, “When I take walks, I do my best to avoid everyone. I hate being pressured into small talk. Just… kinda ironic.” He took one final drag before dropping his cigarette to the ground and stomping out the flame with his shoe. 

I didn't miss the guilty expression on his face or the slight color that rose into his cheeks. Maybe he's not so arrogant after all?

"How about we just enjoy the space together as two strangers and cut the bullshit?" He said.

"What do you mean?"

“We both hate small talk so...let's skip it. We’ll only say something if there's actually something to say.”

"Okay..."

"Cool. See you around, tagalong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give a huge thank you to everyone who has given kudos and commented! All the love means the world and really helps motivate me! This work means a lot to me and I really want to see it to the end.


End file.
